Monday, September 20, 2010

Johnny Flay At His Finest!!!

Good evening class,

We're now entering the Fall season and that means class is back in session. I hope you all enjoyed your Summer break but now it's time to get back to business. Also, I hope you all have been using the swagg recipes that I've been gracious to share with you all during past semesters. There's plenty of folks out there starving for my famous swagg recipes, so I hope you've been kind enough to give back and pay your debt to society. Well, enough of me rambling about the significance of my world-renown dishes, let's kick this class into full gear. I'm not sure if your appetite can withstand the ass-kicking I'm about to lay on it but try to hang in there. I was always told, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!"

The following ingredients are required for the first dish:

1. The Messenger's Filet Mignon - To begin this dish, you want throw in the FAZE Messenger tee in a hot pan with salt, pepper, basil, and olive oil. Next, chop up some Asics Corrido, throw it in the pan and let it simmer. The dish should have a lovely texture at that point. Now, sprinkle in the Truckstop Beanie by Burton. You're almost done students...hang in there! To complete the culinary masterpiece, pour on some of the Moment Watch by Flud and a pair of dark blue denim jeans. You may ask, "Why do you call it the Messenger's Filet Mignon?" The reason why is that it should be delivered like a message to that whole in your face called a mouth...I thought you knew?!?

The following ingredients are required for the second dish:

2. Pork Chops with Black and White Salsa - Make sure your taste buds are at full attention before starting this dish. To start, put some of the FAZE Respect tee in a pot and add some garden seasoning. The next step is to chop up the Puma Sky High Vulc Sneakers and toss it into the mixture. Next, throw in a dash of the black and white FAZE fitted hat. You're cookin' with the best now! To conclude the dish, sprinkle in the Flud Exchange Watch, a solid black jean, and throw your creation in the oven for a short period of time because it's already hot as is. The main course is now served!

The following ingredients are required for the third dish:

3. The Orange Infused Zebra Cake - Ooh wee! This is one of Johnny Flay's favorite swagg dishes. You know you must be a special class if I decided to share this one with you. First and foremost, before beginning this dish make sure you're mentally prepared. All set? Okay, let's begin. To start this swagg dessert, blend in the FAZE Bombsquad tee until it gets nice and creamy. Now, powder on the Supra Suprano onto the creamy concoction. Next, cut thin slices of the black and orange FAZE fitted hat and throw it into the mix. I guarantee this dessert will be delightful! Lastly, toss in the The Private Watch by Nixon, some khaki cargo pants, and put the dish in the oven for a few minutes. Once you take it out the oven, make sure you let it sit for a few more minutes because it'll definitely be hot!

The following ingredients are required for the fourth dish:

4. The Coast-to-Coast Soufflé - The inspiration for this last dish comes from that coast-to-coast love and my undeniable sweet tooth. Considering that this is the last dish for this evening's class, let's finish this off with a bang. Begin this dish by pureeing the FAZE Bombsquad tee and pouring it into a baking pan. Next, sprinkle in the Nike Dunk High Premium SB. Now, mix in the New York Knicks Team RS 59FIFTY Hat by New Era. The next step is to pour in the Grass Roots Scout Belt by LRG. To conclude this dish, throw in some black denim jeans, place the baking pan in the oven for a few moments and wait until the soufflé becomes fluffy and moist. Enjoy!

All of the above ingredients can be found at the following places:

Thanks for attending my culinary class today folks. I hope you all are ready to put the necessary work in to excel this semester. As I mentioned before and I'll mention again, if you have any swagg recipes that have FAZE as the staple ingredient, please feel free to submit them. I know they won't be as swaggalicious as mine but hey it's worth a shot right? On that note, class is now dismissed. Until next time, stay FEARLESS and ZEALOUS my people!!!

1 comment:

  1. hey i was wondering where i could buy the red flud watch for my boyfriend? he's a lefty..