Monday, February 21, 2011

Please Don't Embarrass Them Johnny Flay!!!

Apparently, some folks haven't been paying attention to one word I've been saying since I started teaching this class. I see a lot of folks out there that are malnourished, lacking creativity, and of course missing the most essential piece of my recipes...SWAGG! This is evident by your poor mid-term grades and lack of class participation. But it's not my job to lay down the law in class, that's what the school's fashion police is for. My job is to give y'all the tricks of the trade to survive in this dog eat dog world. Now step your game up and pay attention otherwise you'll be escorted out of my class promptly!

The following ingredients are required for the first dish:

1. Becky's Fiesta Stuffed Peppers - To start this dish, preheat the oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) and lightly grease a medium baking dish. This dish must be extremely hot so you have to make sure that you have the baking dish at a high temperature. Before throwing the baking dish in the oven, chop up some of the FAZE Beautiful Silence tee. Next, stuff the Muska High Top by Supra in the Beautiful Silence tee. This dish is starting to look absolutely marvelous! Now, grate some fresh FAZE Fitted over the stuffed Beautiful Silence tee. To finish the preparation of the dish, sprinkle some of the G2 Watch by Flud. Place the dish in the preheated oven and let it cook for 45 minutes. The dish is done when it reaches a simmer and is light brown in color. Before serving the dish, make sure you serve it with a pair of grey denim jeans.

The following ingredients are required for the second dish:

2. Smoked Baby Back Ribs - Make sure you have a fresh slab of the FAZE Young Fire tee in grey to start this dish. Next, marinate the FAZE Young Fire tee in a pan of the Cesario Sneaker by Creative Recreation. Make sure the fresh slab has fully soaked up the marinade. Now, throw in some sliced Casio G-Shock Solar Powered Rescue Watch and the Conductor Web Belt by Vans. This will give it that extra flavor and tenderness. Next, throw it on the grill and allow it to cook for about 45 minutes to an hour. Once it reaches that perfect color and maximum tenderness take it off the grill. This dish is best served with a pair of black cargo pants.

The following ingredients are required for the third dish:

3. Smoked Gouda Mac and Cheese - To begin, boil some of the FAZE Young Fire tee in white in a medium sized pan. As soon as the FAZE Young Fire tee is soft (not too soft), delicately lay it on a large baking pan. Next, place some sliced, smoked Nike Air Max '97 over the dish. Now, throw in some diced Coal Stanley Beanie and some freshly chopped Flud Exchange Watch. Place the baking pan in the oven and allow it to cook for 15 to 25 minutes. This dish is best served with a side of black denim jeans.

The following ingredients are required for the fourth dish:

4. Shark Fin Soup - To start, make sure you boil the FAZE Bomb Squad tee in black and teal to a light simmer. The next step is to sprinkle in the Nike Air Max '90. Now, pour in some of the San Jose Sharks Snapback Hat. Lastly, toss in a dash of the Ray Ban 54mm Original Wayfarer and serve it with a warm cup of black denim jeans. This soup smells delicious!

The following ingredients are required for the fifth dish:

5. After-School Grilled Shrimp Po' Boy Sandwich - Prepare some grilled FAZE Respect tee in grey. Now, spread some of the FAZE Respect tee and the Generic Surplus Borstl Plimsol Wool shoe over a nice loaf. Next, throw some sliced New Era Leather Brododco 5950 Fitted Cap on top. To complete the dish, pour some of the Flud Thn Analog Watch on top of the sandwich. Please serve this dish with a side of flat black jeans.

All of the above ingredients can be found at the following places:

I hope today's version of Johnny Flay's culinary class has set you down the right path. Ultimately, I want to see increased class participation and improved test scores. The only way for you to accomplish this is to use my swagg recipes to your advantage. As always, if you have any swagg recipes of your own, with FAZE as the staple ingredient, please feel free to submit them. I know your recipes won't rival mine but I'm still curious to see what you guys have learned. Until next time, stay FEARLESS and ZEALOUS my people!!!

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